Friday, July 15, 2011

My shoes smell

OK, this is serious. My shoes smell. Not a little bit of smell but the kind of smell they used to use in warfare. The Geneva convention addressed this in 1942. "It is prohibited by international law to place shoes with a smell magnitude of 10.5 or greater in front or near a prisoner of war" However, I believe George W. allowed this Guantanamo.

Fred Fartlek, Psalms 96: "Thou shall not haveth shoes that smell so badeth that they can kill an elephant at 40 paces" .

I have washed them, soaked them and used toxic death that would eat your skin off in a matter of seconds and the evil, lurking smell persists.

I don't want to buy a new pair of shoes as these still work perfectly well. I'm not suggesting you not suck my wheel but it could cause internal injuries, blindness, lesions, pustules, impotence, hemorrhoids, pre-manopausal symptoms, and possible paralysis.

Help! I need solutions to this problem. Otherwise I am destined to ride.... alone.


Darryl said...

I'm thinking you need a race. Nothing can keep up to the speed of pain, not even Toxic Foot Odour.

Dennis said...

Put your shoes outside overnight when it's -10 C or colder like the Swedish do. Kills all bacteria dead. I do it with my motorcycle racing leathers and it's awesome. Luckily in Calgary you are never more than a few months away from a -10 C evening. :/

Your freezer *might* be cold enough... put them in a plastic bag and try it overnight.

Lelly Matthews said...

Try taking out the insoles and leaving the shoes and insoles outside, in the sunshine to dry.

Kailee said...

I find ammonia works well for getting the smell out of cycling gear. Mix it with water and soak the insoles in it for a few hours. It's a trick I learned for getting the smell out of jerseys, especially after a long winter of indoor training.


Steve P said...

Good idea Kailee. To kill two birds with one stone, keep in mind that there is ammonia in the after effects of a tasty six pack.

Thomas said...

Gold Bond inside shoes works great. A good old hose down and bake in the sun to dry too.

Anonymous said...

Thanks all,
I will freeze, bake and amonia them in the coming days. Steve, I think what you're refering to is methane gas. Beer induced humans and cows emit said gas.

MelodyS said...

Try washing them with vinegar. I add vinegar when I wash all my synthetic tops to take the odour out. Vinegar smells nice, too.

Anonymous said...

Stink up-date:
Placed shoes in the sun for two days- malodorous odor remained significant
Note: many dead birds in the area after this step.

Washed shoes in 1 cup vinegar and laundry detergent - Robust smell continues.

Placed shoe in freezer for 24 hours - Nefariousness smell remains. Not sure if we should use any of the contents of the freezer.

Next action will be a combo of gold bond and ammonia. There may be a chemical reaction between the two since we have no idea what Gold Bond is made from... I'm prepared to risk it.

I'll keep you informed in this critical issue.

Unknown said...

guess I am willing to be that guy. I have had similar issues in the past. BUY some new shoes. What model and brand are you wearing, maybe it has something to do with the material as well. Especially if all of the solutions provided have yet to work.

Clarke E said...

I had this issue after a few wet rides (i.e. Banff). It persisted for a while. Then after another wet ride i decided to take the hair dryer and Febreeze to the shoes, it worked well.

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