Saturday, March 28, 2009

Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

I wanted to write to express my displeasure in the ongoing cold weather and snow that has been a constant this spring. Yes, I know it is the time of year that you want to provide moisture from your loving bosom to provide growth to all of the plants that are waiting to sprout in the coming months. I really do love when the trees start to bud and the flowers bloom, but you also know that process requires warm weather ... right!?

While I understand that you are not Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny and therefore usually don't give a crap about the needs of people, I would still like to think that you fondly remember that night we had together a few years ago. Come on, you know the night that I am talking about. The one where we sat together under the starlit sky, talked all night and cuddled in the soft grass while listening to the babbling creek. Remember when that rabbit came frolicking through the meadow. It was so cute. We laughed hard when that hawk came down and grabbed it. Just wanted to make sure that you cherish the memories that we have had together, because I would sure like to have some more.

Any how, if you happen to read this blog (because we all know that you have an infatuation with the Speed Theory Team), I would love if you might do me a favour and send us a little bit of warm weather. I am certain that I am not asking too much.

In advance thanks on behalf of Speed Theory members and all summer sport enthusiasts in Calgary!

Yours truly,


P.S. You also owe me for the last lap of the Tour de Bowness RR when the Cat 5 peloton missed all of the rain and you made me ride right through it. Yeah it was a funny joke ... but I am still not laughing.


Dan said...


A very touching letter. I'm quite sure that Mother Nature remembers that night and I wonder if she is waiting for others to change their ways. Maybe she is punishing all of us cyclists because I may have caused bad karma with the planets, the tides and non-working cyclists.

I may have to consider these facts with intense yoga and alcohol consumption tonight.

I sure hope she decides to meet me halfway with a compromise. If mother nature puts the mercury to 10 degrees, I'll promise not to yell at riders that enter a sanctioned race and direct the pace at 13km/hr.


Relentless said...

Mark: Nice prose, I hope your getting some with that kind of sensitivity, if not pass on some tips to young Rob.

Mark said...

Mother Nature is apparently a spiteful b#$*h. Just saying.

Full Calendar