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Saturday, April 2, 2011

Top 10 reasons why a home renovation project may be better then riding in Alberta

10. The home renovation season is 12 months long.

9. No one attacks you when you are bent over ripping your carpet up.

8. 99% of the time, you are warm and dry doing the renovation.

7. When you hear someone yell "Hammer", it means pass the hammer. It does not mean that you will have your soul and remaining cellular tissues pounded to small little bits that will be unrecognizable, much like the tile and drywall in your living room.

6. Having your hairy butt cheeks hanging out of your renovation kit is encouraged, if not mandatory.

5. You don't have to worry if anyone can see your boy-parts through your fancy red tool-belt.

4. In the deepest, darkest corners of your house, your not going to come across orange peels and banana peels that some slob tradesman just through to the side as he framed your house.

3. After you remove your linoleum and K3 board, you can look at the 10 000 000 staples left behind and convince yourself that, "hey self, I'm going to do staple removal repeats, and I'm not going to have Vomitus In My Mouthis!"

2. The renovation may be a more consistent workout. Your not going to yell to your buddy "Thanks for hanging my drywall on the ceilings, I'm just going to sit in and recover a bit."

and the number one reason a home renovation may be better then riding in Alberta.......

1. The quality time bonding and communicating with your spouse.
Choosing hardwood, tile patterns, paint colours, carpets and cupboard finishes is such a team effort that every couple benefits from. The ability to communicate freely with each other as you walk down aisle after aisle looking at all the samples of things you broke, need to fix, can't fix, smashed and can't afford. That shared experience does not exist in cycling.

You can't share the feeling of satisfaction with your spouse about rolling blacktop that winds through the mountains like a ribbon gently placed by god like you can about curtains and tile.

Have a great Saturday!!

Slayer Dan

2 comments:

mgodfrey said...

Awesome Slayer, some of your finest work (I'm just on my way to Home Depot, ran out of subfloor glue while doing laminate on the stairs)....

Unknown said...

LOL! I don't know about riding in Alberta. But I know the feeling of having a home renovation project. And yes, I pretty much agree with reason #1.

Annabelle Vandorn

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